WA-5?

Mother’s hand squeezes mine as we walk down the aisle, finding our seats. I climb up onto the pew squeezed between Mother and Father. I’m bored and the wedding hasn’t even started.
“How long will this take?” I whine as I wiggle impatiently.
“Sit still son” my fathers growls my fathers deep baritone.
I lean back and slide my butt forward in the pew and sigh deeply.
“I’m SOOOO bored. When is this dang thing gonna start anyways?”
“Soon” My mother assured me as she tousles my hair reassuringly.
I study the ornate molding between the walls and the ceiling of the church, this has to be the most bored I have ever been in my short life. I think of all the great things I could be doing in this moment, all much more fun than this. I could be playing with trains or Legos or dinosaurs or with my puppy, Darth Vader. I am a beast of the open plains, I’m not meant to be confined like this, I need to get out of here, I just want to play!
After hours of waiting, some guy starts playing the organ and people start walking down the aisle.
“Here we go” I think to myself. “We are finally going to get some action.”
So all these people file in and stand at the front of the church and every one is happy and smiling. Then this fat old guy named The Priest starts talking, and lemme tell you, he was bor-ring. All those happy and smiling people clearly had no idea what lay in store for them. This was turning out to be the most boring day ever. Then Mr. Priest tells my cousin Petey, he is the guy getting married that he can now kiss the bride. He actually does it. I want to jump up and scream, “No Petey! Don’t do it!” It was the most disgusting thing I have ever seen in my entire life. It shocked and horrified me. Before this I thought that Petey was pretty much the coolest guy ever, when I saw him kiss a girl I realized that he was just a big old pansy. I wanted to cry. A dreadful day got immeasurably worse.
After this moment of vileness every one gets up and, for some reason unbeknownst to me, starts cheering. There were some seriously twisted people at this wedding. Then everyone left the church and we all go to this big tent where they had all these tables set up with a little name-tag at every seat for all the different people, there is one set just for me and it was right next to my mom. Then these guys start serving food, if you can call it that. It’s some thing called lobster and it is the most disgusting smelling thing ever. Luckily they had some french frys just for me.
It was the worst day of my life, the only good part was the cake we all got to eat, which was super chocolaty and how I got to run around with some kids after we ate the cake. I guess the day wasn’t a total bust after all.